What she wishes she had known before she got pregnant

Mother of a 10-year-old daughter, Marion is pregnant for the second time. This new pregnancy plunges her back into the “journey” of this stage, a happy memory but strewn with difficulties that must be faced, often in silence.

By SF – Published on Sunday, May 29, 2022 at 08:46



Pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum: What she would have liked to have known before being pregnant

When you become a mother for the first time, you don’t really know what to expect. We often suffer things, deplores Marion, 7 months pregnant.

“The taboo of the first three months”

15 to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage during the first weeks. This first trimester of pregnancy is often lived in the shadows, this is the case of Marion who lived it very badly:

I had a little depression during those first three months. We are already going through our pregnancy, our body is changing and we have to hide it, because we can lose the baby at any moment. We are not necessarily recognized by the medical field either, because the first ultrasound is at three months, and that is when we are given our pregnancy certificate and we are recognized as future mothers.”, confides the young mother who regrets that there is not more support during this period.

Her first pregnancy, she explains, allowed her to know what she no longer wanted. Sporty, Marion met a midwife who strongly advised her to stop this activity, under penalty of seeing her collar “don’t hold”which she refused to do:
She didn’t take the time to listen to my practice of sport, she made me doubt. I told myself that I had to stop the sport, one of the only things that helps me stay myself, then finally, I went to see someone else, which I didn’t. wouldn’t have done the first time”.


“How many are in there?”

From this first experience of motherhood, she also remembers that you have to surround yourself well and that some people can be, sometimes involuntarily, very intrusive. She depicts an anthology of thoughtful reflections, to be avoided when faced with a pregnant woman: “She has a big belly, or not enough belly for that matter” and on the principle “Are you expecting twins?”, “How many are in there?”Oh, are you due soon? “. To shorten it, “when you are faced with a pregnant woman, you just have to ask her how she is and possibly if her baby is fine, that’s all…”. And advice to people who allow themselves to touch the belly of pregnant women: “stop”.

“Do not feel guilty for sometimes regretting your life before”

Before her first pregnancy, Marion would have liked to be told that this experience was not going to be all rosy, “knowing that sometimes we can have wanted this child as much as we want, we can experience it badly, and we don’t have to feel guilty. There are times when it’s very hard, physically. We gain weight, we see our body change, we sometimes have cravings that assail us, sometimes we are sick, we have a permanent fear that something will go wrong with the baby, and we have the impression that we can’t complain. You shouldn’t feel guilty either for sometimes regretting your life before”.


Postpartum: “A feeling of vertigo”

As for childbirth, there too, despite the preparation courses, the mother of the family did not feel sufficiently ready the first time.

“We are not sufficiently prepared for all the possible scenarios. The epidural was imposed on me very early, I was not active at all during my delivery. You can say ‘I do not want an episiotomy’ by example, I did not know”.

Childbirth, we believe that it is the end of the difficulties, but in reality, it is the beginning”, warns Marion, who describes a feeling of dizziness. “We don’t expect that. We look at each other and we no longer recognize each other. We are completely crushed from the inside, we sometimes have tears, an episiotomy or a caesarean section scar that we also have to manage. We have the lochia, for some there is breastfeeding, and the baby, who is not a finished being”,

For Marion, “childbirth is a beautiful moment, a pivotal moment, but that’s not all. That’s what comes next, the real adventure”, she concludes.


1.Posted by
How to say…
on 05/29/2022 09:18

Even if we had told you it wouldn’t have changed anything. Hearing about pregnancy and childbirth and experiencing it are two different things. And every birth is different.

2.Posted by
beautiful
on 05/29/2022 10:36

You have to think before bouz out boyo

3.Posted by
Yes Yes
on 05/29/2022 10:38

And to think that our grandmothers have done more than 10 years (my mother-in-law 12) without asking all these questions and working hard until giving birth. They were courageous women.

4.Posted by
mi le proud
on 05/29/2022 12:02

Good luck for giving birth in the middle ages medical….

5.Posted by
boosted
on 05/29/2022 12:33

Catastrophic situation in hospitals in France:

“The closure of CHU emergencies is imminent in Martinique”. Tight work, lack of beds, understaffing, the island’s health system is on the verge of collapse alert caregivers.

Demonstration in Guadeloupe to demand the reinstatement of suspended caregivers, six months after the revolt against the health pass and the poor living conditions on the island repressed by armored personnel, the GIGN and the RAID.

Demonstration in the town of Orthez in Béarn to defend the public hospital against the fear of a closure of the emergency department and the SMUR due to the lack of caregivers. The hospital situation is increasingly critical in France. (France Blue)

Demonstration by caregivers at the Chinon hospital against the closure of emergencies and maternity until further notice. In France at least 120 emergency services have been forced to limit their activity or are preparing for it due to a lack of caregivers (NRChinon

🔴 Critical situation in the hospital

More and more emergency services are saturated or forced to close temporarily due to a lack of resources and caregivers. More than 120 emergency services have been forced to limit their activity.

Faced with this catastrophic situation as summer approaches, a day of mobilization is expected on March 7 in health to demand in particular hiring and the reintegration of the 15,000 unvaccinated caregivers suspended…

there are not enough midwives anymore, because of covid? no, because of the policies
should not vote macroni

6.Posted by
Olah
on 05/29/2022 14:03

Basically she’s pregnant again. What is the point of this article?

7.Posted by
Kayam 🖊

on 05/29/2022 16:46

KayaM

Before we did not hear these jeremiads. The women of old: our grandmothers and mothers were brave and didn’t do their oin-oin/chichi/interesting as much. How many children in a family? Sometimes 18-20!!

+ of the majority of pre-internet generation women were strong and took their concerns head-on, led their pregnancy with determination. They were flourishing even with conditions different from today and nothing was revealed. The others were not told when the approximate date of delivery or the sex of the child was expected. It was private. Today the baby is still in Mom’s womb and we are already organizing parties for him! Baby shower… is that right? I asked my niece: 🤔 isn’t it future consequences of considering yourself a child king afterwards??

“…we have our body that changes and we have to hide it, because we can lose the baby at any moment.”

If someone is kind enough to explain so that I can explain in turn?! I haven’t abused champagne yet, but I don’t understand this sentence!🤪 😇

8.Posted by
Gerard Manvusa
on 05/29/2022 17:40

Soon the progressives will attack nature because man does not go through the same phases…
What injustice!

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